No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
