Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
