your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Will you blow on my dice?
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
He felt like a one man threesome
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
