that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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