we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
