Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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