is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
