u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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