I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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