I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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