hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
