i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize
