When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
