Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
And then he peed in my hair
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