Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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