Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
