Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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