just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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