bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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