Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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