I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
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