Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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