Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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