Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
