hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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