And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
