I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
she told me i tasted like america
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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