Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
