So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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