His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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