The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
