when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
either way he was missing a nipple.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
