I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
you mean i was at the winter classic?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
