that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Randomize
