mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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