if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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