Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
