so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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