I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
