How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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