I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
