Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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