Nicole vs. Life
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Randomize
