So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize