i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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