I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
