the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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