If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Just cropdusted the office
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
