I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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