his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
