i wish peter jackson would direct porn
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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