Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
