you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Enjoy the penises
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
