Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Every concussion has its silver lining
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
