I cockslap morals
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I don't deserve a penis
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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