butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
