All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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