dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
