i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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