mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize