Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
The uberlube is also flammable
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I'm having to shit out rocks
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