I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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