No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
