First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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